"Come on People" Black Middle Class Edition

Spare me the talk about Black conservatives, celebrities, uneducated and poor. Because from where I sit, collectively, the Black educated/progressive/middle class ain't doing a thing...besides blogging.

EDUCATION
Dr. John Ogbu proved while helping other people's kids we need to help our own. The children of Black doctors, lawyers, social workers and engineers have kids like Lil Jon or kids who don't graduate high school period.

I couldn't care less that the son of a married couple whose father was an engineer turned out to be a rapper with crunk juice. But this hockey fan (who blogs on NHL.com and has a son who plays hockey) is the product not of poor Black people which is the first thought. So there is more going on than "oh, its poverty." Its us in general. So though Mr. and Mrs. Lil Jon may have, like all Black parents, expressed their appreciation of a good education I can't help but wonder if they did what it takes to make it happen.

We get into a nice job with a nice home in the suburbs and we think our kids will just get it and excel because they are in a better environment. I guess we're praying for osmosis. We'd all like to think its just those Negroes on the block who aren't getting the job done but some of those Huxtable kids aren't making it either.

And you can't blame it on them completely. Internships, study abroad, foreign language proficiency, informational interviews, and other activities. We've probably never had them in a darn thing extracurricular (even in high school) besides sports and they probably did the majority of the work to make that happen. We just signed the forms. How are these kids supposed to go out and compete when no one tells them how vital they are? Especially their middle class/upper class AB, BA, BS, MA, PhD having parents? It takes more than, "Here now you're in a good school. Do your thing."

And I know I may give conflicting accounts on here on what our responsibilities are. One minute I say we have to help each other, the next I have to clearly state that you can't let others define your success. Its called balance. If we're going to bitch and moan then I think we should act as well. I had a first sergeant in the Army who would tell us, "I don't care if you complain, just make sure you're working while you do it." How many of us who are around kids see that one with the potential but not the guidance and actively help them?

Do we not only tell them education is important but demand they do the things to get the best education? And do we think White teachers, guidance counselors and professors aren't mentoring White kids they see who have the potential to do great things? We could probably stand to pull some of the Black kids on all campuses from elementary to college and let them know they have something special and we're available to provide assistance.

Have you ever took a moment to help them understand the things you feel they should know? Or all we all busy blogging about the things we think they should be doing? Blogging to the choir isn't going to get it done. Sorry. It spreads the word and it is a vital tool but someone, somewhere has to do something to make a change.

There was a 9th grader in one of my Upward Bound classes who wants to be a lawyer. She said she wants to go into business. I told her she could do a dual program and get her JD and MBA. And I also gave her all my viewbooks from law schools, three LSAT prep books and when I see her at the dinner this Saturday I need to tell her to logic is a great benefit. And my mom told me to tell her to pay it forward. Hell, she might decide she doesn't want to be a lawyer, maybe I saved her some time. She was thankful, even text me to tell me not to forget the books (like I did the previous Saturdays) and part of her was probably like, "Dang, can I finish ninth grade first?" None of that took more than 10 minutes. We have a distorted view of what making a difference requires. We don't have to have to trek across town, disrupt our lives or go out of our way. We have family members, neighbors, students and friends. What little conversation, one little sentence can make the difference.

We, even as the educated and middle class, haven't figured out how to keep up and excel. There are things we should be doing but don't know how, don't know we should, or simply don't while we're talking about the Black folks in the hood. Only concentrating on the poor Black people shows that even though we rail against low expectations, we have them too. Thats like saying we just don't want to be poor and stupid. But what after that? Oh and some of us don't want to be too rich, too conservative or too established either. How in the hell can you be snobby about being snobby?

Why don't we have more individual scholarships out there? I find we do a lot of complaining about what rich Black celebrities aren't doing. (Like my mom does, thinking some rich celebrities should back the Black beauty supply business.) Besides complaining about Oprah, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods, why aren't we creating scholarships? You don't have to belong to an HBCU to donate money to a school. We can create a scholarship for our non-HBCU alma mater and designate the money for whatever we want.

I plan on creating a scholarship at my predominately White college to benefit a Black student in the area. Why not now? Because I'm not selfish enough to half-ass do it, thats why (though Napoleon Hill would disagree). I haven't decided if it will be for a single parent (like myself) or a military veteran (like myself) or a non-traditional student (like myself) or just a Black kid who needs a little help (like myself). And maybe when it first starts it may only be enough to cover books but I'm striving for multiple four-year full ride scholarships.

Bill Cosby wasn't just speaking to the poor, he was talking to the middle class too, challenging us...thats not what we focused on though. We were right there ready to turn our noses up and talk about what 'they' aren't doing, how trifling 'they' are while clapping our hands and nodding our heads. Many of us aren't a generation from poverty or the hood, we're a cousin or an aunt. One foot in the hood and one in the suburbs. And part of the Black middle class problem is that we put down others to elevate ourselves; to make ourselves feel good. To say, "Hey, thats not me. I'm not like that."

DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR BAD ASS KIDS
Now I go back and forth between saying there are no bad kids and emotionally stating those are some bad ass kids. I live in what could be considered a mixture of working class and middle class. Whatever that means. Homes range from $180,000 to almost $300,000. This one kid bothered my son. Of course we had to take there so off to the parents home we go. The kid lives with his mother and father in a two-story home that closer to $300,000 range. She's quick to say, "Well, my son doesn't usually do-." I don't know what else she said because in my head I'm thinking, "B%*&$#, I don't give a f%*& what he normally does." By the time it filtered out of my mouth it was, "Well, I've been around him at the football games on Saturday and he was saying all kinds of B-this, MF-that, and S-this. I had to speak to him and another mother had to say something to him as well. They had to pull him off the field."

So I was basically saying I don't want to hear that "my baby is an angel crap." Don't tell me a kid with a mouth like that doesn't normally act up. My motto when dealing with these dumb behind parents is this: I have no problem putting your kid on the path to prison. This is Florida, we handcuff six-year-old girls. I'm all for helping people, but I will NOT raise your kids. There is a difference. I will not allow your kid to think he's my child's daddy while hitting him as some other kid holds his hands behind his back. (He's fine, they hit him on the shoulder but thats not okay with me.)

These kids around here aren't living on Martin Luther King Blvd. (which people think if they do that means they have no home training), they have parents who have worked to put them in a nice, safe environment but they make it less than desirable. You should hear the foul language coming out of some of their mouths. And their parents make it horrible because they don't raise their kids, they think they are angels and they don't parent. Food and shelter are not your only responsibilities as a parent. So spare me about income level and education when speaking of parenting. Middle class parents are some half-ass parents too with same problems as everyone else.

Maybe a little less blogging about my single parent kid or someone's baby mama drama and little more raising of these middle class kids who we think because they live in those suburbs don't need to be raised and everything will BE alright. Ain't nothing in the suburban water to make them magically act right.

So if you're a parent or you have the ability to give a little advise to a Black kid do you do it?

• Never confuse motion with action. ~Benjamin Franklin
• A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do. Nothing else. ~Mahatma Gandhi
• Ideas without action are worthless. ~Harvey Mackay
• I think there is something more important than believing: Action! The world is full of dreamers, there aren't enough who will move ahead and begin to take concrete steps to actualize their vision. ~W. Clement Stone
• You will never plow a field if you only turn it over in your mind. ~Irish proverb

Young Black and Rich? I'm overlooking the name in order to focus on the message

YBR Enterprise Inc: A Network for Today's Young, Black, and Rich Woman

New York, NY (BlackNews.com) - Who doesn't want to feel the unending zeal of youth or experience the never-ending extravagance of the rich? YBR Enterprise Inc is a network that was created for this very purpose. The goal is to uplift, inspire, and transform the lives of women by providing information on a number of topics related to living a successful lifestyle including health, relationships, finances, and education. The website includes- among other things- helpful tips, articles, and success stories on a variety of topics such as motivation, goal setting, entrepreneurship, money management, and success. The site also features a blog centered on these topics.

"Being young has nothing to do with age, just as being rich has nothing to do with money," says YBR Enterprise Inc. founder Dorianne "Alecia D." Green. "I truly believe that you can be as young and as rich as you feel no matter what your birth certificate or bank account may reflect."

With limited positive images of black women in the media today, YBR Enterprise Inc. strives to create a haven for today's Diva Entrepreneur, where she can not only express herself but find a home for her creative talents.

Alecia D. knows the response to YBR Enterprise Inc. will be strong, "In today's climate of Reality TV and Video Vixens, it's obvious that black women are searching for the keys to youth, money, and success. I have realized that each woman already possesses those keys within and it is my goal to help other women realize this as well."

Alecia D. is a Successful Lifestyle Expert studying such philosophies as The Law of Attraction, Zen habits, and the Principles of Meditation. She is currently a Senior Analyst at a Fortune 500 company in New York and her debut self-help manual is set to be released in the fall of 2008. The manual will be a guide to defining, implementing, and maintaining a successful lifestyle.

For more information about YBR Enterprise Inc., please visit www.YoungBlackRich.net

GOOD LUCK LADIES, WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET

Quote keyword: Hypocrisy

Discretion is the polite word for hypocrisy. ~Christine Keeler

Hypocrisy is a fashionable vice, and all fashionable vices pass for virtue. ~Moliere

Superstition, idolatry and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging. ~Martin Luther

Remember When... Three 6 Mafia won an Academy Award?

And Jill Nelson wrote the following in March 2006:

Recently, a grown-up, apparently sane Black woman suggested that I was being overly sensitive because I found the very words "It's hard out here for a pimp" to be absurd--let alone the idea that a song by that name would win an Academy Award in 2006. Couldn't I understand, she asked, that I was taking the words out of context? After all, she continued, what about the pimp's perspective?

The pimp's perspective? Correct me if I'm wrong, but last time I looked, pimps were predators and parasites who didn't work. Men who made a living off the sexual labor of women they controlled through abuse and violence. It seems to me that being a pimp is kind of an easy, if reprehensible, way to make a living. I can't see where "hard" has anything to do with it.

But maybe that's just me. It's a measure of how far we haven't come that the only Oscar awarded this year to an African-American went to a song whose lyrics go like this: "You know it's hard out here for a pimp/When he tryin' to get this money for the rent/For the Cadillacs and gas money spent/because a whole lot of bitches talkin' sh--."

According to one report, Sidney Poitier, Denzel Washington, and Will Smith--all of them previously recognized by the academy either as nominees or as Oscar recipients--convinced Terrence Howard not to sing the song from Hustle & Flow at the Academy Awards. It seems they were trying to protect both Howard's Best Actor nomination and the Black community. Poitier is quoted as having told Howard, "Do not get up there and represent the African-American community singing about a pimp."

Although an anthem to "exploited" pimps is as good as it got at the Oscars this year, we shouldn't be surprised. This is, after all, the same Hollywood that produced and celebrated D. W. Griffith's racist 1915 film Birth of a Nation; made the wonderful actress Hattie McDaniel sit in the back of the auditorium when she won as Best Supporting Actress in 1940 (for Gone With the Wind) and limited her throughout her career to mammy roles; and continues to bankroll movies that, for the most part, portray Black people as predators or objects of ridicule.

All of which makes George Clooney's suggestion that Hollywood was in some sort of vanguard when it awarded an Oscar to McDaniel sound especially ridiculous. Of course, this year no Black woman stood a chance of winning an Oscar, since none was nominated. (That Crash, a film that grapples in complex ways with racism, won the Best Picture Oscar instead of the gay love story Brokeback Mountain probably has more to do with a brilliant marketing campaign for Crash, fear of an organized backlash against Brokeback from the Christian right, and homophobia than with Tinseltown's commitment to fighting racism.) Still, the Black race did not go home empty-handed.

Nope. Instead, Three 6 Mafia, aided by actress-singer Taraji Henson, performed their nominated song, "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp"--complete with actors as pimps abusing Black women with big butts, who were dressed in hot pants and writhing for the camera--and then received the Oscar for Best Song.

As if the performance of that number weren't enough, we were all treated to Three 6 Mafia, barely able to speak English, accepting their award. The spectacle of the group members onstage, complete with gold fronts and baggy clothing that featured designer names in oversize letters--the modern-day equivalent of branding slaves as property, as far as I'm concerned--is something I could easily have lived without.

Many years ago a distinguished older attorney confided to me that he had always regretted not having publicly criticized Eldridge Cleaver's book Soul on Ice, particularly Cleaver's confession that he had raped Black women as "practice" for assaulting White women. He hadn't, he said, wanted to be attacked and dismissed as an Uncle Tom or old fogey for voicing his beliefs. I've never forgotten what he said.

Call me a snob or a hater or whatever you'd like, but I've had enough. I'm bored with, tired of, and disgusted by the overwhelming majority of hip-hop music and culture. I fail to see where it has done much of anything except make a few Black people rich--and many, many, many more White people, from the owners of major record companies and MTV, to clothing designers on their last legs and jewelers who no doubt make that hideous bling-bling out of conflict diamonds.

I don't think it's OK that Nelly sells pimp juice or Snoop pornography, and yes, I like Kanye West, but his progressive lyrics are a drop in the huge bucket of hip-hop mediocrity. Maybe what breaks my heart most of all is that the uncritical embrace of hip-hop culture by so many of us--and the attempts to dismiss those who speak out against its misogyny, violence, and materialism--are a manifestation of the profound cynicism and hopelessness that define so much of contemporary American life.

It seems as if we no longer believe in the possibility of working for social justice or implementing transformative change, or in our own limitless potential. Integrated and Americanized, we believe that it's all about the benjamins--or, more precisely, my benjamins, and the rest of y'all be damned.

The truth is, I don't care about the Oscars or Three 6 Mafia. What I care about is Black community, culture, and conscience, and that's what I see being bought and sold for a few ducats.

But maybe I'm old-school. Perhaps recent events are evidence that we are now truly integrated into American culture, that we finally belong. Instead of having to be overqualified and superbly talented, and possessed of a vision greater than the individual, now Black people can get rich being just as mediocre and small-minded as the worst of White folks.

Congratulations Quinn Rallins: Morehouse Man

Dahleen Glanton of the Chicago Tribune has the story of another Morehouse Man who didn't get quite as much attention as another one. Take time to read about Quinn Rallins. Here are a few bullet points.

• 22 years old
• Rhodes Scholar finalist
• Traveled 36 countries while in college
  
• Dual degree in International Studies and Spanish
• Will teach English in Malaysia as an Amnesty International fellow
  

"This is a great time to be young, gifted and black," Rallins said. "Twenty years from now, I want to say I contributed."

Read about Mr. Rallins here. Its a great story.

How is being smart acting White

Let me ask the whole question: How is being smart acting White, when being stupid is an American thing?

By now almost everyone has seen the clip of Chris Matthews dissecting radio show host Kevin James over his ignorance regarding Neville Chamberlain, Hitler and the Munich Agreement the same way he did to Barack Obama supporter Kirk Watson (D-TX).



I'm not generally for road-side crash television and surely Matthews had some less than noble reasons for putting James through the ringer; James never mentioned Chamberlain. And surely James can think Obama is an appeaser without knowing about Chamberlain.

(When James kept saying 'appeaser' it reminds me of 'evil doer')

But this did please me particularly when Matthews said, "we're talking about people with blank slates." And that is why I was a moron every time I said we need to give the American people the benefit of the doubt, that the American public is smarter than whatever garbage was being pumped down out throats, that we wanted to speak about issues not get inundated with rhetoric and slimy ads and tactics.

Nah, those slimy tactics work, we blindly listen to what is on TV which is why bullet point/sound bite talking points. Nah. we're effing morons (just like that HBCU, hahahaha) thats why billions of dollars are spent on those tactics.

We have politicians like Watson who don't know the policy of fellow politicians they are endorsing, just their hopes and dreams. We have a radio talk show host who speaks daily on politics and current affairs but has no problem with not knowing the full story because he simply wants to be on TV as a parrot for 'his side'. And a White House press secretary who happily brags she doesn't know what the Cuban Missile Crisis was period, let alone the specifics.

Its not just a Black thing to be ignorant. Its an American thing. I sat next to White kids for four years who most definitely didn't strive for excellence. There is no doubt many of them will get a desirable job over other candidates who are Black even if those Black kids worked their butts off in college. Case in point: Al Gore was an average, sometimes below average student but somehow ended up Vice President of the US and a Nobel Peace Prize winner. It didn't happen because of his grades and work ethic, but because of his family, background and connections. Does that mean those of us who don't have those advantages shouldn't work hard? No, overly combative one so take your penchant for arguing somewhere else. The difference is we can't afford to slack one bit because it confirms what the ignorant think they already know.

Its an American thing because we get questions like "Which presidential candidate would you like to have a beer with?" and "Which presidential candidate is an every-man/woman?" As if that should matter. I'm just waiting for the day I'm asked one of those questions.

One of my favorite shows was West Wing. In season 3 during President Bartlet's re-election bid he faced with an opponent (James Brolin) who used emotion and not intelligence.

There are a lot of things I don't know and many of those things I admit I've chosen to remain ignorant about. (ignorance - the state or fact of being ignorant; lack of knowledge, learning, information, etc.) But I don't fret, thats why learning is a lifelong journey. It doesn't end once you earn your highest degree. And I haven't stopped learning.

A willful neglect or refusal to acquire knowledge which one may acquire and it is his duty to have. --Book of Common Prayer.


So when VP Cheney was asked about Americans' feelings toward the war and he responded with, "And?" part of me smiled because even though he'll say he hadn't been asked a question (and he hadn't) so that's why he was asking "and?", he was also saying we're effin morons (just like that HBCU) so why the hell should leaders listen to us. Some things we just don't understand. The sad part is that we're not trying to.

I mean, many of us think we can have great schools, great roads, low crime, universal health care, great salaries, made in America products, Social security, and tax cuts for everyone. Mmmm hmmm.

So I have to agree with the VP. And? (Or maybe its just because I can be a really nasty person so says the ex)

Sure its an option but will it be used?

A significant number of Black voters have said if Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee they will not vote for her. I've seen commenters throughout the blogosphere say they will vote for McCain, Cynthia McKinney or even write in Barack Obama. But it won't be a strong number.

Should she win the nomination I would be shocked if Clinton won less than 88% of Blacks who vote on Election Day. We make these claims so much that its really the boy who cried wolf. Its why MSM gives more attention to the 'Obama can't win the working class White vote' program. Because they will stay away in larger numbers and MSM knows this. Why? Because its not just heat of the moment bitterness over their gal not winning. Its deeper than that and we all know what it is.

They aren't going to spend too much time (hell, no time) talking about 'but Hillary can't get the Black vote' because they know when it all comes down to it, Blacks will vote, even begrudgingly, for the Democratic nominee. Thats what 'we' do, thats what we've always done for decades even while threatening to hold our vote. We don't hold our vote; we hold our noses (and vote in line like we're 'supposed' to).

Stop crying wolf.

It may not come to this in 2008, but if you're anti GOP (because I sense folks aren't voting for Democrats) would you NOT vote Democrat?

Travel Spot 1: Keswick Hall

• Keswick Hall Hotel
  

Many times when I dream about traveling I sit in front of my computer and surf the Web, looking at beautiful hotels, spas, cities and landscapes. I've planned many a trip lying in bed with my laptop. Recently Washington Post staff writer K.C. Summers suggested Keswick Hall (Charlottesville, Va) if you have Italian dreams but a local budget. Here are some words from the article:

The country-house hotel is set on 600 acres in Virginia's hunt country, in a 1912 Tuscan-style mansion that has been expanded and renovated over the years. Its 48 antiques-filled guest rooms overlook formal gardens or rolling fields; public spaces feature wood-burning fireplaces, overstuffed sofas, and tables piled with art books and first editions. I'd wanted to check the place out ever since Orient-Express Hotels bought the property in 1999...

We could have played tennis, or fished, or hiked. But we couldn't resist the bicycles propped on the front porch, and hopped on a bright red two-seater to explore the grounds, which include a residential development and conference center.

It was all very nice: the friendly service, the exquisite surroundings, the innovative meal. But the highlight was still to come. The next morning, after a breakfast of fresh fruit and pastries, I took my coffee out to the lawn, found a rocking chair overlooking the green hills and simply savored the view. It wasn't quite Tuscany, but it would do.

Learn more about Charlottesville, VA at Frommers. And check out the "Travel Tips and Deals" on my blog roll.

Though I recommend everyone travel internationally, there are countless beautiful locales all around the United States. So my travel spots will highlight international and American locations.

Movie: 12 Angry Men (1957)

I didn't see the original version. I saw the 1997 remake with Courtney B. Vance, Ossie Davis, and Mykelti Williamson to name a few. The remake sparked my interest and I thought the story line was great. I've heard its nothing compared to the original. Its on my list to add to my collection.

A few years ago I went through a 'black and white/ old movies' phase. There were some great movies made before I was born. I wonder if people during those times took it for granted.

Music: Dont Leave Me (Blackstreet)

Reminds me of my days living in Germany

Quote keyword: self-interest

“If your imagination leads you to understand how quickly people grant your requests when those requests appeal to their self-interest, you can have practically anything you go after.” ~Napoleon Hill

“Look, I'm a grown-up, I know people do things out of self-interest and opportunism. I'm going to have to work with people who weren't with me.” ~Antonio Villaraigosa

Tasha Smith tells how she changed her life

Probably most well known for her role in Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?, Tasha Smith talks about her sex and drug addiction with ESSENCE:

I never believed I would make it past 30. Growing up in Camden, New Jersey, I didn’t have any hope. That’s why I dropped out of high school. I thought, I’m never going to make it to college, so I might as well just quit right now. My twin sister, Sidra, and my younger sister, Ch’e, and I attended a Seventh-Day Adventist Church with our grandmother, but I didn’t really connect to that. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends in the neighborhood. Most of them were drug dealers, pimps and people who worked in the clubs. I didn’t realize that they weren’t the icing on the cake of the world. All I knew was that these people bought us school clothes and groceries and looked out for my sisters and me when our mom was too busy freebasing cocaine.

My father wasn’t around, and my mother would spend whatever money we had on drugs. My sisters and I knew what it was to eat pieces of fried bread with sugar and butter and call that cake because that’s all we could afford. We moved every six months. I don’t know if my mom understood how much turmoil she put us through. I grew up thinking she didn’t love me, so I tried to find love wherever I could. I lost my virginity when I was 14. I was completely sex crazed because that’s how I identified love. I thought if you took me to a motel, bought me some cheap wine, gave me a joint or cocaine, and had sex with me all night, that was love. And yet I felt so worthless all the time.

Smith goes on to say in the article: Sometimes we just need to change our environment and maybe even our friends in order to move forward. When I did that, God arranged wonderful things for me.

All the help in the world won't change a person who does not desire it.

Steve Sack on Hillary's Thinking

Total credit goes to Steve Sack, Minnesota, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune

Sharing the Knowledge #9: Financial Health

Follow the "Sharing the Knowledge" series

Want to know why so many of us don't have money? Not because 'the man' isn't allowing us to. But we haven't mastered money, we don't let our money make money for us, and we overspend. Yep, thats not reserved for the hip hop heads with their bling we always talk about.

I have a feeling we could make two times as much as other groups and be four times as broke. I found this quote on Booker Rising: "Financial literacy is not about making more money, but making better decisions with the money you make." — John Hope Bryant

I have a long way to go before I'm as financially healthy as I want to and should be but thank God I have no debt (even education debt...yet and I just graduated with my undergrad--I love my alma mater baby!). And that alone, sadly, puts me ahead of a lot of people. People who have been in good careers for a long time. Some people love clothes and shoes, I love books and DVDs. The number one change for me would be using my public library card and banning myself from Amazon.

The first thing you should do is journal everything you spend for a week and a month. You'll be shocked at how much money you waste. Of course we need to do all those things we know we should like not eating out.

Note: Sharing the Knowledge #4 was about free financial advising.

Mix and match information from financial experts/persons to fit your situation:

• Michelle Singletary
• Jeff Yeager
• Suze Orman
• Dave Ramsey

Read the blogs of people trying to become (or have become) financially healthy and use some of their tips:

• Fabulous Financials
• My Money Blog
• Tired of Being Broke
• My Open Wallet
• The Hustle of Sistah Ant
• Challenging Debt
• Mighty Bargain Hunter
• Debt Hater

Stop throwing away savings. In addition to clipping the coupons:

• Coupon Mom
• Fat Wallet
• Retail Me Not
• Cool Savings
• Printable Coupons

And remember, once you start seeing all the savings you have, you should be investing.

*The lists I created were only a few of many and in no way an endorsement.

Quote keyword: perspective

“When you're in the muck you can only see muck. If you somehow manage to float above it, you still see the muck but you see it from a different perspective. And you see other things too. That's the consolation of philosophy.” ~David Cronenberg

“The manager has a short-range view; the leader has a long-range perspective.” ~Warren G. Bennis

"Perspective is worth 80 IQ points." ~Alan Kay

"In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel "burnout" setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective." ~Dalai Lama

A small look at black women's health issues

From Black Enterprise:

As National Women’s Health Week (May 11-17) kicked off, a lack of healthcare insurance, inaccessibility to proper information, and other socioeconomic barriers continue to take a toll on the overall health of black women, according to medical experts and professionals who participated in the National Black Women’s Health Conference held last week.

All the problems we already have, including putting ourselves last and mental health and we're helping to send ourselves to an early grave. Oh yeah, because 80% of African American women are overweight, while 50% are obese.

42% of the deaths among black women are due to heart disease. As a result of the dangers associated with obesity, Perry-Bottinger foresees "increasing prejudice against overweight people. It’s going to be expensive to offer them health insurance because they are [considered] too risky." Health insurance premiums are based on an individual’s health history, among other aspects.

So while we're fighting 'the man' who won't give us health insurance or health care can we push back from the table, stop frying every damn thing we eat, and get a little exercise? Will that kill us? Actually, it won't. It might save us.

AIDS/HIV:

During her conference session on HIV/AIDS, Crawford decided to put statistical data aside and get "right down to the real nitty-gritty." She asked attendees to cite reasons contributing to the spread of this virus among African American women, who in 2005 accounted for 64% of the 126,964 women living with HIV/AIDS in this country, compared with 19% for white women and 15% for Hispanic women, according to the CDC. "I think that in additional to looking at statistics, we need to look at the emotional aspects and how we’re feeling," Crawford told the group of women. The 20 or so responses given included low self-esteem, breakdown of the black family dynamic, change of value system since integration, socioeconomic conditions, the "down-low" factor among bisexual black men, and lack of cultural competency in health education.

Many of us don't value life because they don't have one. Whether its sex or drugs - they are willing to take the risks because they have nothing to lose. No dreams to be deferred, no hopes to be dashed, no future to be railroaded. Their live is completely in the now and about gratification.

• Contact your state's department of health for resources and information on low cost and free health services.
  
• Join programs like Kellogg's Healthy Beginnings and read Help guide for healthful tips on eating. Also check out the Soul Food Pyramid to see healthier ways to prepare your favorite dishes. (Or as I like kid my mom- plantation meals).
  
• Join coupon Web sites like Coupon Mom and clip coupons in the newspaper and mail to save money in order to afford healthier options.
• Buy a pedometer and walk. Graduate to easy jogging.
  
• Drink water
• Where a condom. Trojan gives free condoms and does military health and college clinics. I'm pretty sure free health clinics do as well.
• Value your life
  

None of the few things I mentioned are difficult, they just require your effort. Nothing will make you healthy, including a doctor with the best health treatment paid by the best health insurance, if you treat yourself like shit.

Poor little girls

What is this? The hot tot collection. No, they aren't naked but where do you go from here? Hate to see the pre-teen collection. And I know those shoes were for advertising only right? I know they don't make the shoes for sale. Uh, right?*Picture from Brown Sista

I'm glad you have enough love and money to adopt a little Black girl, but have a Black friend who can do her hair. Where is Queen Latifah? She and Angelina got close on the set of "Bone Collector".

*picture from Dlisted.com

I know where the phrase 'white is right' came from

They probably had to deal with a damn HBCU. Specifically Southern University.

About four or five years ago I first found out Southern University had a defaulted Perkins loan worth $300 to my name. After my college confirmed it was not mine, every subsequent year of receiving my FAFSA they just ignored it.

Every year I contacted this school and notified them it keeps coming up because they needed to notify the NSLDS and update my status. You know one person even had the nerve to ask ME how to go about making the necessary changes? (WTF?!) You've inconvenienced me and now I have to do your job for you.

You know the worst part. The granting date was before I was born. That could be a filing error, I don't know. But here is the part that is utterly ridiculous and can't be disputed....I NEVER ATTENDED THE DAMN SCHOOL. Never even been in Louisiana.

Last summer the crap still happened. I spoke with someone and they even sent me a memorandum stating the loan wasn't mine. I thought I was alright until I get an email from a new school's financial aid department saying they can't consider me for financial aid because I have a defaulted loan. Oh you know I was hot!

I call the president's office and some lady tells me they just got a new person in charge of that particular office. 1. I don't give a shit. 2. Thats irrelevant because its not something the head of a department would handle. It would be handled by a clerk.

Yeah, I got straight ignorant. You have to do that with Black folk. We may love each other but we will also get treated worse by our own than anyone else in too many situations.

Four and a half years?!

Now there is C-P-T but this is damn ridiculous. I don't care what damn HBCU you went to, how fabulous Southern University was for YOU because dealing with them sucked for ME and thats my focus. First impressions are lasting ones. And so are the third, fifth, and tenth!

I know if I had this problem with the college I attended (that is predominantly White) it wouldn't have been five years it would have been handled by COB, with a smile and a "can we do anything else for you?"

If this is any indication of how HBCUs run then I completely understand why they are drowning. Incompetence.

Effin morons!

Quote keyword: complain

When any fit of gloominess, or perversion of mind, lays hold upon you, make it a rule not to publish it by complaints. ~Samuel Johnson

I will not be as those who spend the day in complaining of headache, and the night in drinking the wine that gives it. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Learn to accept in silence the minor aggravations, cultivate the gift of taciturnity, and consume your own smoke with an extra draft of hard work, so that those about you may not be annoyed with the dust and soot of your complaints. ~William Osler

People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that you can't please. ~Will Rogers

Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. ~Proverb

Of course the Democratic party isn't progressive

At least not when it comes to race. In his article "What the Democrats owe to Black voters" Ruben Navarrette Jr offers:

Part of that is the question of whether white liberals and other so-called progressives in the Democratic Party have progressed enough to allow African-Americans, and other people of color, to advance from supporting cast to center stage.

Supporting roles for minorities isn't just a job restricted to Hollywood. You see, the Democratic party is for everyone. Everyone who knows they have a role and who agrees to play it.

African-Americans have long supported the Democratic Party. Should Obama become the nominee, we'll learn if Democrats are willing to return the favor.

That is the question isn't it.

When it comes to advancement for and opinions about Blacks, what is the difference between Republican and Democrat?

Personally its one thing to accept crumbs at the beginning when you're starving and you've never had a nibble. But Democrats have been giving crumbs ever since, not a permanent seat at the table and surely not a seat at the head of the table. So I don't think I owe Democrats my vote even if they are running against the devil himself.

Quote keyword: refuse

"An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it." -Orlando A. Battista

"I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me." ~Ralph Ellison

"A lot of people refuse things because they don't want to go naked, don't want to go without guarantee. But that's what's got to happen. You go naked until you die." ~Nikki Giovanni

"We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us." ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Mother's day was a great day

Yesterday was a beautiful day for a couple of reasons. My college has a tradition of holding commencement on Mother's Day. So on the day I celebrated being a mother and the daughter of a strong woman, I also graduated from college. It has been four long, short, thrilling, invigorating, valuable and fabulous years. I know one should be college educated and married before bringing a child into this world but I'm going to be selfish and say I'm happy with my life and its order.

I am happy my son sat in a few classes with me, from Japanese to Economics. I'm glad he saw me exhausted and studying. I'm glad he's been on campus so much he was able to play tour guide for my family and show them the Student Resource Center (where mommy tutored students), the student center (where he ate and got frozen yogurt with the girls), the library, and the huge lawn (where he played football and baseball with my male classmates). I'm happy my professors talked to my son and told him he has a good role model in me.

Most of all I'm glad he was there as he watched his mom walk across the stage and receive her college degree. I'm glad he said he wants to attend my alma mater (though I know that can
easily change). We didn't go out to eat, we didn't bother with gifts. But none of that could top my mother's day. It wasn't special because of anything we did. It was special for the day that it simply was --mother's day and commencement. What could be done that could top that?

May 11 was also my favorite artist's birthday. He once said:

"Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme pleasure - that of being Salvador Dali."

We should all be so lucky to wake up every morning loving who we are, not what others want us to be. Living our life with pride, true fulfillment and determination, regardless of whether its how others feel we should live it.



I am so, so very proud of my school. I didn't attend an HBCU but hearing of their constant financial woes motivates me to do whatever I can to help and support my college. Yes, they have hundreds of millions of dollars. That money came from donors and alumni who made it possible for me to attend such an expensive school. I can't accept such a gift* and not provide a gift of my own.

*I don't owe one red cent--tuition is almost $33,000- if I lived on campus the tab would be $44,000 a year.

I'm truly overwhelmed with so much emotion.

Can I quote you on that?

"And if I have the honor of becoming the next first lady, I want to continue these conversations like the ones I've had with these incredible women across the country. I want to ensure that their voices don't get drowned ou