Greatest Christmas Movie Ever

Recently the idea that Die Hard was a great Christmas movie surfaced. I balk at the idea that movies other than Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Story and even Home Alone can be a holiday movies. But if we're going that route then its not even close what's the best Christmas movie. Its Trading Places. And we even get the age old nature vs. nurture debate too.

Call Me Scrooge, Better Yet Call Me Debt Free

The average spent on Christmas is $743? Make sure to check out the rest of the numbers. It is one thing if you can afford this but I'm thinking many of the people who will spend a lot of money can't.

If I spend $200 on my son this year I'll be surprised. He gets a few things. I buy one item for my three small cousins and my nephew (generally a book) and my mom gets a gift. That is it. Not my job to buy you that "thing" you've wanted all year.

My friend is a lawyer. Her husband is a former Division I football coach with an advanced degree collecting two big paychecks. I say that because they are more financially secure than people who will spend all this money. It is obvious why. They have four kids and didn't spend $743 on them combined. She bought her hubby clothes and he bought her a necklace. That is it. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah and they won't be paying off Christmas during the summer.

Young kids are too little to know any better and by the time kids are older they should know the reason for the season. I am not religious so I may not stress the religious aspect, though my son does know it, but he knows the reason for the season is not to go broke.

Nerd, Geek, Acting White - It Is All The Same

One of the issues that always seem to get people in a tizzy is the idea that black children who excel in school are bombarded with insults like "you're acting white" that make them dumb down, fail classes, flunk out of school and on to a life of misery. Even the First Lady had to suffer through such tragedy. Thank goodness she managed to escape the doom.

As I've stated before, my belief is that many children of all races, including white children, go through this. They are picked on and bullied for being smart and focused. When white kids have to deal with this they are called "geeks," "nerds," and "teacher's pets." And that's just as frustrating for them. And it doesn't help anyone.

And math, science and computer science, Dr. Anderegg said, are courses that young people too often associate with nerds and geeks. As a result, he added, “they sabotage themselves in these fields, and the nation’s workforce is suffering.” (New York Times)

Do I believe that? Yes, if only our children succeed in school that hurts us as a nation. This idea that "they aren't my kids" doesn't help a country that seems to be constantly obsessed with how it ranks in the world. We can talk about the added racial component of thinking white is superior to black with the "acting white" tag, and how that's more damaging than white kids being called nerd, but that will never change until we as black people appreciate and celebrate the non-celebrity achievements of black people and show up to PTA meetings in the numbers we show up to pee wee football practice.

Not rocket science.

Good News Tuesday: Reva and Maria McMillan

Stories like this always make me smile. As someone who earned my degree while raising a child I know how hard it can be. I imagine how much harder it is to walk back into a classroom when you could look over and see your child across the room. Maria McMillan, 52, earned her bachelor's degree in health sciences the year her daughter, Reva, 25, earned her degree in sociology.

This may not be a story about a singer or an athlete but its the very stories we should applaud. As I said yesterday, the more Reva's and Maria's we celebrate on a daily basis, the less some will consider "acting white" because of academic achievement as an insult. More on that tomorrow.

Congratulations to them both on their successes. Read about their story here.

As always, you can head over to Tradition of Excellence for more stories.

Good News Tuesday: The Crouch Kids

Four siblings, four acceptances to Yale University.

Ray Crouch, a senior at Danbury High School, logged onto the computer in his family’s living room just after 5 p.m. on Tuesday and entered the Web site of the Yale admissions office.

Suddenly the screen turned blue — Yale blue — and an image of a bulldog, the university mascot, appeared, followed by “Welcome to the Class of 2014.” Ray, 18, had been offered a spot in the next freshman class, under its early-admission program. Standing behind him, his mother, Caroline, screamed.

But that was only the beginning. Moments later, Ray’s brother, Kenny, also 18, went to the Yale site and got an identical message. He was followed by their sister Carol. Same news. Then the room fell silent. Ray, Kenny and Carol are quadruplets, and their sister Martina had applied to Yale, too.

“I was thinking, it’s going to be really awkward when I don’t get in,” Martina recalled Friday.

But the computer turned blue for her as well, which prompted such an outpouring of joy from their mother that she wrestled their father, Steven, to the floor in a hug.

Continue reading at the New York Times.

Update: Make sure you head over to The Happy Go Lucky Bachelor for Mike's Good News Tuesday pick. Pretty wonderful.

As always, you can head over to Tradition of Excellence for more of these stories.

Pregnancy Is A No-Go on the Battlefield

Last month the big brouhaha regarding pregnant soldiers was over Spc Alexis Hutchinson's inability to find adequate care for her son before deploying to Afghanistan. What happens when a soldier becomes pregnant while on the battlefield? Don't be shocked, it happens all the time. And usually she is simply sent back to her home station.

In Northern Iraq, under Maj. Gen. Anthony Cucolo's command, female soldiers and the men who impregnate them could be court-martialed. Civilians under his command could also face criminal charges under his new policy.

Why? Well to ensure units are understaffed due to women leaving the area because of their pregnancies. Newsflash there are a limited number of soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. There aren't a bunch of them waiting around to take a pregnant soldier's spot. This is another issue that those that have never served will get outraged over without full understanding.

Oooh it seems so juicy and wrong, just like Spc Hutchinson's situation, but you give up some autonomy when you join the military. Our privacy rights, reproductive rights, freedom of speech rights, etc. are different than for civilians. Guarantee you military people didn't blink when they heard this.

Cleaning up Florida's DCF 20 Years Too Late?

The Florida Department of Children and Families (DCF) is no stranger to criticism. I imagine most of it is well-deserved. Its easy to say the men and women who run and work in the agency are all to blame but that is not how I see it. At the risk of making excuses, government bureaucracy and public apathy have their place on the carpet too.

The Sun-Sentinel, with their "Trust Betrayed" series, found that "career criminals with rap sheets that included rape and murder were given clearance to work with children, the elderly and disabled."

And now the legislature wants to close the loopholes that made it possible. Sounds good and on a level I agree. But I also want to know if there will be unintended consequences. There almost always is with legislation.

Link:
System puts felons in caregiver jobs

For Fashion "Chic Ethnically Ambiguous" Is Diverse Enough

With the emergence of model Nastasia Ohl, once again someone is trying to convince us that maybe, just maybe, the world of fashion is on the verge of a diversity explosion.

What is really amazing is that in color she, of "Asian, Eastern European, and Jamaican blood" blends in even more with the "carbon copies stalking down the runway."

On second thought, I have a feeling her "chic ethnically ambiguous look" is as close to diversity as the fashion industry intends to get.

Around the Web

1. I really don't understand why Snuggies are flying off the shelves. When I put on my robe my arms are free, I'm warm and I don't look like Martin when he ran off to be a monk.

2. LAUSD chief want to make it possible to get rid of under-performing teachers. I can't say how many of these people exist and they surely aren't the sole cause of why kids are failing but they need to go. A teacher without a plan for every minute of the day, including work for kids in the event they finish an assignment early, is setting kids up to fail. Even when a kid first walks into the classroom a teacher should have something for them to do while taking roll.

3. A new Florida State Supreme Court ruling forbids the restraint of juvenile offenders unless a judge finds that the youth is likely to be violent.

4. Another year, another innocent man freed from prison. For the inconvenience of 35 years in prison, James Bain will receive $1.75 million from the State of Florida. Ever notice they are never angry? What is that about?

5. Apparently "Nine" is no "Chicago". In fact every review get worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and just damn. I'll still see it.

6. An article with two videos of what Web site traffic looked like for the New York Times the day Michael Jackson died.

7. No more Fighting Sioux for the University of North Dakota? Maybe not and it has nothing to do with sensitivity.

8. Mirna Gonzalez, a woman in need, found a way to give back to those who helped her.

9. I've never watched Glee. I had my high school angst in the form of 90210. That's enough for me. But does Glee actually show us the greater conflict between liberalism and conservatism with two of its characters?

10. We all know college isn't for everyone but people are hell bent on continuing the fraud that not earning that "free" degree is a horrible injustice for black college athletes.

Snoop and How Imperfect People Can Make A Difference If We Let Them

Well that doesn't make up for all the bad he's done.

So what? He is an unapologetic former gangster and weed smoker.

I don't care. He still makes violent, misogynist, gutter music.

Where are the books and the tutors?

Before I could read the first paragraph of the AP story of Snoop Dogg's work with youth football those were the thoughts that ran through my mind. They aren't my thoughts; I was imagining some of the criticism some would level on him and his efforts. Especially when they read about who is allowed to coach the kids.

But the league soon caught on, especially when fathers with criminal records learned they could coach, unlike most other youth sports. Broadus, himself a former gang member, has several convictions for drugs and weapons offenses, and if the league didn't allow ex-cons, there wouldn't be enough coaches.

"When you look at the demographics of the area, this is the reality of the situation," Wadood said. "We don't condone any of that, but we look at the nature of the offense, how recent it was."

Sex offenders and domestic violence convicts, for instance, are banned from the sidelines.

You're usually going to catch 100% hell from people who have no desire to help except in some abstract, philosophical, academic way. They will (1) not help because those aren't "their kids," (2) demand the parents and community help themselves, and (3) criticize who is allowed to coach the kids. With some folks you can't win.

And as far as the promotion athletics over books well that's a very disingenuous complaint to lay at the feet of someone who is offering help. Its not for one volunteer to have a cure for all that ails troubled kids today. Remember, just like Malaak Compton-Rock, Snoop is not the parent. He is someone who wants to help in some way. That is generally best served by providing a limited philanthropic service. You can't be everything to child that will not have your attention all the time.

I have many philosophies, one of which is: "good" people do bad things and "bad" people do good things. We are not one thing, but the sum of our actions. This is a good one. And on this one, I applaud Snoop Dogg and all those who are interacting with these kids in a good way.

My Problem With That Publisher's Weekly Cover

I'm not upset over the Publisher's Weekly cover. I don't see it as racist. But again, I question the need to make us out to be this exotic other. This time using "concept art" as the hook. Like I said about Pepsi back in September, you don't have to go out of your way with something gimmicky in order to get me, just treat me like everyone else. I mean, if the article was about (white) women books in the marketplace would the cover feature two milky white breasts?

Here is the article if anyone cared to read it.

Link:
Magazine Cover Draws Criticism, and Apology

Good News Tuesday: Judge Irene Berger

Irene Berger becomes West Viriginia's 1st black judge on U.S. bench

From the West Virginia Metro News:

The first African American appointed to West Virginia's federal courts will begin her job immediately. U.S. District Judge Irene Berger took her judicial oath during her Investiture Ceremony Friday afternoon at the Robert C. Byrd Federal Building.

Judge Berger served as a Kanawha County Circuit Court Judge since 1994 and has served as both a Kanawha County Assistant Prosecutor and an Assistant United States Attorney during her legal career.

Both U.S. Senators Jay Rockefeller and Robert Byrd submitted her name to President Obama for consideration. The President then presented her name before the full U.S. Senate where she was appointed to the bench in a unanimous vote.

Read more here.

Additional links:
There are no shortcuts for Judge Irene Berger
Irene Berger sworn in as federal judge

Around the Web

Tiger Woods, Race and Hyperbole

I find myself like Jason Whitlock. We have no desire to talk about Tiger Woods but the people who do just won't shut up the nonsense. Read Whitlock's first and second articles about the Tiger media circus. For someone like me, who thinks sports journalism needs more watchdogs, Whitlock can sometimes be the freshest breath.

Over on Twitter Skip "Diabolical Hater" Bayless actually stated. "I never put Tiger on that high a pedestal. Spewed profanity, threw clubs and tantrums. Jerk to many fans. Stiff-armed black community."

That last sentence deserved a 'whoa partner' from me. Look, white sports reporters balk at the mention of race. Any time a black reporter brings up the racial aspect of a sports issue they roll their eyes and sigh, highly perturbed it would be suggested that something in sports has a racial component. You don't want to talk about race any other time so I don't need you using black people, like you give a damn, because you want to rip on someone you don't like.

Christine Brennan of USA Today (full disclosure I don't like her) was on the hyperbolic Twitter train as well with this little diddy, "Has there ever been a more remarkable fall from grace in sports than the one we're witnessing now?"

Um, OJ? When you're in the midst of a storm you've never seen a more dark and dooming existence. Remember in February of this year people wanted A-Rod on suicide watch? The now humiliated Steve Phillips compared him to Britney Spears and said his life was spiraling out of control (ironic coming from him huh?). Sports reporters spoke of his 'fragile psyche' and 'weak mental makeup' wondering how he would handle playing on the road with people calling him a steroid cheat. Well, lets see. He hit a home run on the first pitch he saw this season and a grand slam on the last pitch he saw and in between, in a season shortened by major hip surgery, he hit 28 more home runs to become the only player in the decade to hit 30 home runs and 100 RBI each year. He had a historic postseason and helped the Yankees win the World Series. Hmm, life seems okay.

Lincoln University

The bad guys win. Lincoln University ended its BMI requirement. So now black folks get to keep killing themselves. WOO HOO VICTORY! Seriously, the only problem they had was not making it a requirement for all students. Like I said before the black cyber intelligentsia love to talk about pathologies black people accept as the norm like out of wedlock births and misogyny but you rarely hear them talk about obesity. Wonder why?

Black Women

Rappers and corporations aren't the only ones who can earn a buck off the "pain" of black women. Helena Andrews is profiled in the Washington Post for her upcoming book "Bitch is the New Black". I liked it better when plaid and pink were the new black but anywho. All I know is whether women want to believe it or not a lot of the pain is self-inflicted.

Documentary: The U

Hide the sports writers of America! ESPN is about to show a bunch of "arrogant" athletes tomorrow night at 9 p.m. I don't know about the rest of you but I got my popcorn ready.



Its "The U" directed by Billy Corben. Seems the university didn't want anything to do with it but like former Hurricane Lamar Thomas put it, "We earned the university a lot of money, put some beautiful palm trees on campus, built buildings. Whether it was good or bad, it happened. We changed the face of college football. And regardless what anybody thinks, we'll always be remembered."

That is the NCAA. They make millions off these kids and think because they give them a scholarship its okay to make them the face of all the things considered 'wrong' with college athletics whether its bad boy behavior or recruiting violations.

Links:
Another article comparing the Hurricanes to the Cocaine Cowboys. (No, not Michael Irvin's Dallas Cowboys). Some folks don't remember but Miami used to be a horribly dangerous place. Its a family vacation spot now compared to the 80s.

I'm not writing on the Tiger thing but...

its not shocking some folks think this about a dark man.

"The reality is Tiger needed to be knocked down a peg or two. He had become too arrogant."

-David Moulton, Naples News

Book: Live Through This: A Mother's Memoir of Runaway Daughters and Reclaimed Love

Any woman that considers herself a mother struggles on more than one occasion with her motherhood. All the questions lead to one massive question: Am I a good mother? And those questions and the guilt that prompts them are in play long before the second-guessing and condemnation by outsiders, particularly those who have never been responsible for a child.

As I read through the Nov/Dec issue of Poets & Writers I read an article by Debra Gwartney the author of the book in the title of the post.

After Gwartney and her husband—two people who didn't belong in a marriage together but who couldn't manage to find a decent way to split up—divorce, her two older daughters, barely in their teens, run away. In this bitingly honest memoir, Gwartney, a former correspondent for Newsweek, tells of her daughters' paths of self-destruction as street children, with intervening stints in various treatment centers (among them, a state group home, the foster child program, a wilderness-therapy program). As daughters Amanda and Stephanie move back and forth between their parents' homes of squabbles and angry rebellion and the street world of self-maiming—socially (dropping out of school), physically (drugs, scabies), emotionally (attempted suicide)—Gwartney builds a life around trying to bring them home again, into which her younger daughters, Mollie and Mary, are inexorably drawn. After a grim and frustrating two years, she is successful. Gwartney's memoir, however, is not just about the runaways; rather it's a reflection of her emotional state as months go by not knowing where one or the other daughter is. Her story was originally told in an episode of public radio's This American Life. While she occasionally overwrites, she offers readers comfort and some hope. (Amazon)

In her article she also mentions other motherhood memoirs: It Sucked and Then I Cried, I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids and Bad Mother. I've long believed television shows like The Cosby Show, Leave it to Beaver and the likes did a disservice to real mothers. There was always this idea that it looked so easy. Its good to see more women acknowledge, whether they are parenting alone, unhappily married or even happily married, its not easy.

Good News Tuesday: Rhodes Scholars

For the second year since 1994, four African-American undergraduates have won Rhodes Scholarships, which carry with them the privilege of studying at Oxford, England's oldest and most venerated university.

Named for the South African mining magnate, Cecil John Rhodes, the scholarships, worth about $50,000 each for two years, have been prominent passports to gateways of power, privilege and prestige since they were created in 1903.

Two of the four blacks are men, and two are women. They are Andre McCall from Truman State University, Ugwechi Amadi, an MIT senior, and two Harvard College undergraduates, Darryl Finkton and Jean Junior.

Read more about the scholars and the scholarship at Black America Web.

Link:
The Rhodes Scholarships

Around the Web

Lets make this quick:

1. In the latest battle between black folks and healthy living its no surprise healthy living is getting its butt kicked. Lincoln University requires an exercise class designed to help overweight students lose weight and stay healthy before they can graduate. Obesity is the pathology black people love to embrace so you won't be surprised by all the criticism off and on the campus, just read the article. Lincoln should take after my alma mater and simply make it a graduation requirement for all students. Its not like poor health is costing this nation billions annually.

2. Bill Cosby using rap to reach out to an intended audience is like Wanda Sykes not speaking English to reach an intended audience. You remember his "Yes, we spoke English." response to her at the 2003 Emmys. (Flashback article: Ta-Nehesi Coates "Ebonics! Weird Names! $500 Shoes" - was he not right on about those Fat Albert characters? They'd fit right in with Wanda.)

3. I don't care what happened with Tiger Woods but I guarantee you some "educated, open-minded" black women, who probably go on and on about how black women need to expand their dating pool, won't hesitate to say (or think) that he deserves whatever happened because he married a white woman. You chicks and your double standards are something else. If he (allegedly) assaulted her you'd be straight tripping. Even if he cheated its no excuse for violence. From a female on twitter: "I'm proud of her. I hope all men learn a lesson if U wnt 2 B a cheater, women cn get up in yr ass 2"

4. RiPPa is so right in this post. Black people still have a problem with real depictions of black life even though they over emphasize the same experiences. Sorry, but some black people are helped by white people after they are deserted by their own (See: The Blind Side). And if I'm not mistaken black women and girls are endangered in the black community (See: Precious). What's the problem?

5. And while I can't comment on "Precious" since I haven't seen the movie this critical article by Courtland Milloy in the Washington Post was something you haven't seen much of in mainstream media about the movie.

I'm Looking Forward To Rob Marshall's Nine

There is no movie I've anticipated more in 2009 than Rob Marshall's Nine. He of Chicago success has put together an amazing cast including Dame Judi Dench, Sophia Loren, Daniel Day-Lewis, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cottilard, Kate Hudson and Stacy Ferguson (Fergie of Black Eyed Peas fame). Thats a lot of Academy Awards.

Nine tells the story of Guido Contini (Daniel Day-Lewis), a world famous film director as he confronts an epic mid-life crisis with both creative and personal problems. He must balance the many women of his life, including his wife (Marion Cotillard), his mistress (Penelope Cruz), his film star muse (Nicole Kidman), his confidant and costume designer (Judi Dench), an American fashion journalist (Kate Hudson), the whore from his youth (Fergie) and his mother (Sophia Loren). (IMDB)

Blackfilm.com has a Nine Special section, including a trailer that highlights the much talked about performance by Academy Award nominee Kate Hudson (Cinema Italino). The musical is set to open nationwide on Christmas Day.

Link:
NINE on Yahoo Movies

SPC Hutchinson Needs To Find Someone To Care For Her Son Or Leave The Army. And Thats That. No Need To Be Angry Or Sad About It

Sometimes no matter how much your ideology wants you to feel a certain way you just can't. That is what happened to me when I read about Army Specialist Alexis Hutchinson. She is the soldier mom who was arrested after refusing to deploy to Afghanistan in order to care for her infant son. As a person reading a headline I felt one way but as I read the article that followed my experience as a soldier took over.

It all sounds so sad. Civilian heart strings will surely tug and there will be outrage that a mother would be forced to leave her child behind. But single custodial parents aren't allowed to join the military for a reason. But once you're in and you have a child you aren't kicked out. Instead single parents are required to have a Family Care Plan (FCP) along with dual military couples with dependent children.

Hutchinson had such a plan — her mother, Angelique Hughes, had agreed to care for the boy. Hughes said Monday she kept the boy for about two weeks in October before deciding she couldn't keep him for a full year.

Hughes said she's already having to care for her ailing mother and sister, as well as a daughter with special needs. She also runs a daycare center at her home, keeping about 14 children during the day.

"This is an infant, and they require 24-hour care," Hughes said. "It was very, very stressful, just too much for me to deal with."

Here is the thing. Did SPC Hutchinson's mother have these responsibilities more than two weeks before her daughter had to deploy to Afghanistan? Did she just realize the stress she was already under? It is up to the soldier to ensure their FCP is up to date at all times.

The military has its share of malingerers and women who use pregnancy and family (and sometimes just being a woman) to get out of duties. I worked 12-hour shifts until my 7th or 8th month of pregnancy (then went down to 8 hours) and it shocked my peers. I still went out at 6:30 a.m. and did PT (physical training) even if it was pregnancy specific exercises or walking for an hour.

"What are you still doing here?"

"Working."

I knew why there was so much shock. Even though the majority of us work in offices they were accustomed to women going from rucksack marches, running miles, and all sorts of physical activities to four-hour workdays and complete bed rest once they became pregnant.

Her chain of command might have even been jerks about the situation, particularly if they told her to place her child in foster care.

But the bottom line is SPC Hutchinson needs to have an adequate Family Care Plan in place. The military, like most bosses, are complicit in this as well. Often things like FCPs are merely seen as technicalities that no one cares about as long as the paperwork is in just in case there is an audit of the personnel files. Which goes back to this situation. In my opinion Hutchinson's mom was named the guardian just to meet the standards of having a complete packet hoping it wouldn't be put into place.

And as long as she only requested more time and didn't try to get out of her deployment, as her lawyer has stated, then I'm okay with some discipline and then sending her to Afghanistan. I know that sounds cruel but the military shouldn't be in the business of being overly emotional and lenient with rules. This isn't a temporary duty (TDY) trip to another base for a training class for a week or a month. This is war, whether we agree with the war or not.

Maybe she did have a plan that she and her mother always intended to implement. Things do happen but if she can't fulfill her duty then she needs to take a discharge and leave the military. I'm not some unsympathetic being but this is not some watershed moment in gender equality in the military either. This isn't about not supporting the troops.

As they say...it is what it is. But I'll tell you what it isn't - it isn't as simple as people want to make it regarding the big bad Army and the helpless single mother.

Good News Tuesday: Rowdy Orbit

If you've been on this blog before you know I hate to hear people whining about the negative image of black people in pop culture when they don't 1) create what they want to see or 2) at least support the positive or more artistic ventures by others. Most people aren't going to do the first but they can do the second.

Corporations don't push negative images of black people because they hate us; they do it because it makes money. Boycotts are temporary, purchasing history if forever. If you support something all the copycats will come out of the wood works and create even more.

The Washington Post recently featured Rowdy Orbit, a Web-based network for “culturally relevant” short films created by minorities.

Web television has been around since the ’90s, but in the past year edgy new shows by, for and about minorities are proliferating on the Internet. Many of the new series take the form of webisodes — episodes that usually last about five minutes, aimed at the short-attention spans of the all-mighty Millennium Generation.

“You can look at this as revolutionary,” says Jonathan Moore, founder and CEO of Rowdy Orbit, which was launched in February. “It is giving people a voice and a platform to express themselves without judgment or red tape holding you down. Now they can go from idea to production to distribution.”

For years, minority writers, producers and actors have complained about the lack of diversity on television. Last year, the NAACP Hollywood bureau criticized a “virtual whiteout” in broadcast television. “At a time when the country is excited about the election of the first African American president in U.S. history, it is unthinkable that minorities would be so grossly underrepresented on broadcast television,” NAACP President Benjamin Todd Jealous said in a statement.

Robert Thompson, a white professor of popular culture at Syracuse University, says the lack of diversity in programming is counterintuitive, given the breakthrough success of programs such as “Roots” and “The Cosby Show.” “The general politics of people who run television may have at some point been close to admitting diversity and people of color, but the fact remains when the NAACP did its report, the results were shocking,” says Thompson.

“We are not a country that has suddenly solved race problems,” he says. “Even people who think of themselves as forward-thinking and supporting diversity — ‘Oh, my best friend is black’ — won’t watch certain shows. Not because they are consciously racist or don’t want to see black people on television, but they tend to move away from those shows.”

Its a very good feature. You can read the entire article here.

Check out RowdyOrbit.com and let me know if something grabs your attention.

When The Media Isnt Making "Her" The Perfect Victim, She's The SuperHero

Something bad happened at Fort Hood and a woman nicknamed "Mighty Mouse" was a hero. That is about as much of the story as I knew for a while. For various reasons, one being that initial reports are generally a waste of time and more fiction than fact, I wasn't interested in the details.

My first hesitation came when they kept referring to Sgt Kimberly Munley as a female soldier. As a woman who is an Army veteran there is just something about the phrase "female soldier" that I don't like. We are trained in the same manner, on the same fields and with the same equipment as most male soldiers. And once the task at hands requires a weapon gender does not matter. I did my best soldiering on the firing range.

There was a reason they made sure to call her a "female soldier"; it is much sexier if the hero is a woman. But according to the first article I read about the tragedy, posted yesterday on the New York Times web site, she's not a soldier. Munley is part of Ft. Hood's civilian police force. Civilian...soldier...totally different.

And the discrepancies don't end there. A second police officer, who is a retired Army veteran, was also on the scene. Senior Sgt. Mark Todd, according to a witness report, seemed to be just as involved in bringing down MAJ Nidal Malik Hasan as Munley.

The witness, who asked not to be identified, said Major Hasan wheeled on Sergeant Munley as she rounded the corner of a building and shot her. Then Major Hasan turned his back and started putting another magazine into his semiautomatic pistol.

Sergeant Todd then rounded another corner of the building, found Major Hasan fumbling with his weapon and shot him, the witness said.

How the authorities came to issue the original version of the story, which made Sergeant Munley a national hero for several days and obscured Sergeant Todd’s role, remains unclear. (Military officials also said for several hours after the shooting that Major Hasan had been killed; he survived.)

This is not to take anything away from Sgt. Munley. Her actions were still heroic. According to what is a more detailed, but still not completely confirmed, account she stood her ground. She was wounded in the line of duty and running towards the danger as others were running away.

The media rushing to have a great story while the military spreads lies (first from error/incompetence and then intentionally) in its desire to anoint to the next great American military hero. Think Pat Tillman as well. Of course this all reminds people of PFC Jessica Lynch who was said to be captured while firing like Rambo when she never fired her weapon or was even shot.

But this isn't the same as the Lynch scam. This current story is on the error/incompetence side of the spectrum where the Tillman and Lynch fiascoes were intentional lies.

This is why I've become less reactionary and try not to blog about certain things as soon as they occur. As bloggers we can claim we based our opinions on the media accounts and hide behind the shield of only having media accounts. But that seems a bit ironic considering most of us have spent more than a couple of blog posts criticizing the media for its inaccuracies, biases and agendas.

Now that there is a bit of calm and fact-checking I can read about this tragedy.

Happy Veteran's Day

"In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." -Jose Narosky

When I was about 20 years old I drove through Bosnia and saw empty shells of what was once homes lining the streets. There were spray-painted signs on the lone standing wall or two - they signified the homes had undergone ethnic cleansing.

The other memory I have is of walking in front of the truck I had been riding in with my kevlar, helmet and M16 in hand looking for landmines that could take out the truck.

As I look back I think, "Damn, what was I thinking?" But at the time it was just a day's work.

Thank you to my fellow veterans and to those currently serving.

Good News Tuesday: Mia Love

Saratoga Springs, Utah made history when it elected Mia Love, an African American woman, its second mayor. Incorporated in 1997, the small town is the first Utah city to elect an African American woman as its mayor. The city has grown from just over 1,000 residents in the 2000 Census to an estimated 11,570 in 2007. Here was an ad campaign she placed on YouTube:

Congratulations Mayor Love.

Call Them Whatever You Want But You Have To Call Them Champs Too

I've been missing in action for the last couple of weeks and you can blame it on postseason baseball. I've missed interacting in the blogosphere and I've even missed the last four, maybe five episodes of Mad Men. So you know I'm serious about this baseball love.

I'm a huge New York Yankees fans so I've been consumed with watching them take their place on top of baseball for the 27th time. I'm happy for all the Yankees but especially for Alex Rodriguez and Joe Girardi who had to deal with all the ridiculous second guessing of his managerial decisions.

To all the Yankees haters you jumped on that Philly bandwagon just in time to crash and burn. And a word of advice: telling an "obnoxious" Yankees fan that the Yankees buy their championships and are steroid users just adds fuel to the fire. We love that you hate the Yankees. It makes us laugh...at you. That's what makes it so fun. So save your breath because you're not raining on anyone's parade.

I mean hello. I'm interrupting my congratulations and celebration to tell you your whining doesn't matter. Doesn't that tell you how "obnoxious" I am?

Speaking of parades the Yankees will celebrate down the Canyon of Heroes Friday beginning at 11 a.m.

2009 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!

Good News Tuesday: Curtis Granderson

Last week the MLB Players Association named Detriot Tigers' outfielder Curtis Granderson the Marvin Miller Man of the Year winner. The award is given to the player "whose on-field and off-field performance most inspires others to higher levels of achievement by displaying as much passion to give back to others as he shows between the lines on the baseball diamond."

Granderson, 28, created the Grand Kids Foundation in 2008 to give more education and youth baseball opportunities to inner-city kids. He is a member of the Action Team national youth volunteer program.

Granderson is the son of two recently retired teachers, his sister is a teacher and in 2000 he earned his degrees in Business Administration and Advertising from University of Illinois-Chicago. He recently wrote All You Can Be: Dream It, Draw It, Become It! where he "shares the lessons that he learned growing up--the importance of family and choosing the right friends, the power of listening and staying positive, and most important, [and] the value of being yourself." (Amazon)

His book is being distributed free of charge to public elementary school libraries in Michigan, a recent article on the Michigan Department of Education Web site stated. I'll get that book for my son to go along with his book written by Derek Jeter.

Like my blogging pal Mike, over at The Happy Go Lucky Bachelor, I like sharing stories about black professional athletes. Don't believe the hype about them. The majority of them are just like Curtis. Recent stories you might have missed include New York Yankees Derek Jeter who won the Roberto Clemente award for community service last week and Los Angeles Angels star Torii Hunter the Branch Rickey award winner earlier this year who was recently featured for his community service work in his hometown.

So thank you Curtis Granderson.

By The People: The Election of Barack Obama

I love documentaries. I can watch a documentary on almost anything from snakes to the KKK to the pyramids. Its one of the reasons I roll my eyes when some of you start talking about boycotting cable. And give up the History channel, National Geographic, Discovery channel and Military channel? Puh-lease. Anywho, November 3rd at 9 p.m. I will be watching By the People: The Election of Barack Obama on HBO.

Good News Tuesday: Kiki Baker Barnes

The Gulf Coast Athletics Conference (GCAC) elected Kiki Baker Barnes their 17^th president at the 2009 fall meetings, held on Dillard’s campus October 5th and 6th. She is the first African-American woman to hold the position. Barnes is Dillard University’s Director of Intercollegiate Athletics, and also serves as head basketball coach of the Lady Bleu Devils.

Barnes was unanimously voted in during Tuesday’s general session after being nominated by Dillard Faculty Athletic Representative Dr. Nazar Mustapha. She replaces Steve Knight, head men’s basketball coach at William Carey University, who has served as GCAC president since 2001.

“It is truly an honor to be recognized by my peers and given their vote of confidence as we move forward in the GCAC,” says Barnes. “With the recent departure of five of our teams, we must respond quickly to ensure the future of the GCAC as a conference to be reckoned with.”

Continuing reading here.

Good News Tuesday: Autumn Joy Adkins

Autumn Joy Adkins, an educator with experience in Friends and private schools, will be sworn in as the 16th president of Girard College in a historic ceremony this afternoon on the campus of the private boarding school for low-income students in the city’s Fairmount section.

Adkins, 37, is the first woman and the first African American tapped to lead the school that was created through a bequest of 19th Century merchant-banker Stephen Girard to educate poor, white, orphan boys. The school opened 161 years ago.

It took two trips to the U.S. Supreme Court, seven months of around-the-clock picketing by civil-rights protesters led by the late Cecil B. Moore and a visit from the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to integrate Girard in 1965. Another lawsuit led to the admission of the first girls in 1984.

Adkins, whose selection was announced in March, has been at the helm of the school since July. She succeeds Dominic M. Cermele, a 1949 Girard alum, who retired in June after serving as president for six years.

This academic year, Girard is providing a free, college-prep education to 623 low-income children from first through twelfth grades.

Read more at Tradition of Excellence.

We Need The Black Blogger Short Film Festival Or Something

Black women are pissed about Chris Rock's documentary Good Hair*. Black women are pissed about Tyler Perry's adaptation of 'Colored Girls.'

With the technology and format to create, share and distribute stories I'm confused as to why more black people aren't providing a visual platform for the voices they feel are silenced. All the issues such as health, violence, dating, single parenting and mental health in the black community get nothing more than cyber discussions in echo chambers.

I have nothing against talking about these issues but I wonder, especially when no one is ever happy with images anyone else puts out there (Rock, Perry, CNN), why we aren't creating and sharing the viewpoints we say are missing? The ones we deem necessary to balance out our images.

For me, one of the most powerful vehicles is the documentary. Everyone loves the visual. Put someone in front of a camera and have them talk.

The Souls of Black Girls

Black Woman Walking



A Girl Like Me

Look what the blog Black and Married With Kids did?

I've seen countless calls for short film and documentary festivals and/or contests that don't require participants to be professionals. So when are people going to get serious about really having a problem with our monolithic image?

Why not set up your own Web site and upload your short documentaries. Hell, there is already a Web site ready and waiting for your videos. Its called YouTube and many clips get millions of views. Some people are even paid for their YouTube channels. Start your own indie production company.

I'm just wondering, for all those enlightened people who have the answers, who have that missing message, why are you keeping it a secret?

*Note: You know what black women? "Good Hair" and all these endless articles and attention about your hair is nothing more than chickens coming home to roost, because no one talks about black women's hair more than you. No one is more offensive about black women's hair than you. When you aren't criticizing someone for being natural you're telling someone she hates herself for using chemicals. So take all this BS and choke on it, maybe it will keep you from constantly talking on this highly political divisive mess.

If you were to make a short documentary what would be the topic?

Of Course Rush Limbaugh Shouldn't Own An NFL Team

There are a lot of players in Rush Limbaugh's three-ring circus PR fest. Rush announced that he is part of a team that wants to purchase the St. Louis Rams. Notice I said he announced it. The man is a master media manipulator. Everyone has a role to play and so far there have been award-winning performances.

NFL players: I go back and forth on whether athletes should open their mouths for social causes. If they are willing to do the research and be well-informed then so be it, even if I don't agree. Some black players have already said they wouldn't play for the Rams if Rush is an owner. I do wonder why they don't seem to have a problem with dog fighters, wife beaters, drunk drivers and just all around criminals. There have been over 500 arrests of NFL players over recent years. They should speak on that too.

The Reverends: Al and Jesse are against the idea of Rush owning any scintilla of an NFL organization. The reverends have their hustle. They don't want to see Rush associated with the NFL so they are speaking out on it. Squeaky wheel gets the oil. Look everyone is always quick to think certain things are too insignificant to warrant harsh opposition. Everything always seems trivial until it isn't.

The Reverend-haters: I don't know what bothers this group more: the reverends or the fact that they don't have the clout, guts or smarts to do what the reverends do for the sake of their own cause. Even white men on sports radio, apparently well-versed on the ills of the black community, feel black male violence should draw the attention of the "leaders" and not Rush Limbaugh.

NFL owners: Indianapolis Colts' owner Jim Irsay said he won't vote for any ownership team that includes Rush Limbaugh. Sure there have been owners in the past that have said and done incendiary things such as Cincinnati Reds' owner Marge Schott and Washington Redskins' owner George Marshall Preston. And yes, I'm willing to bet there are current owners who probably share some of Rush's beliefs. They have the benefit of not having a radio show on which to pontificate on a daily basis.

But that doesn't mean owners should just let in all the loose cannons. I don't recall Mark Cuban saying anything too controversial and MLB rejected his bid to own the pathetically run Chicago Cubs organization. Howard Milstein tried to buy the Redskins but was rejected for, among a handful of things, being just a little too quick to sue. In the end this is about money.

Roger Goodell and the NFL: For all my issues with the NFL one thing I've always acknowledged is that they are in full control of their brand. This is a league that fines players over not wearing their socks appropriately. Instead of David Sterns' ridiculous dress code in the NBA, the NFL knows what is really important - how the players behave, not what they wear. Dictator Goodell saw that his league had a problem. He's willing to punish players before they are convicted of a crime because they put themselves (and his league) in a bad spot. have you ever read an article about a criminal player that didn't include the name of his team? Of course not and neither has Goodell. This is a highly successful brand, billions annually, that doesn't need the attention Rush Limbaugh brings. There are plenty of billionaires who are willing and able to buy an NFL franchise.

So no, of course the NFL shouldn't allow Rush Limbaugh to be a minority in any of its team. But not because of politics, because of business.

Good News Tuesday: Education

With all the bad news coming out of Chicago lets not forget those young black males who are blessed to be in good environments and enlightened enough to take advantage of it.

Urban Prep Academy mission is to provide a comprehensive, high-quality college-preparatory education to young men that results in graduates succeeding in college.

In addition to Urban Prep Academies, Providence (Chicago) and Capital Prep in Hartford, Connecticut with Steve Perry that was highlighted in CNN's Black in America 2 there are other schools around the country, such as Jack Perry's Prestige Academy in Delaware for boys in grades 5-8.

All these schools, and we can add Geoffrey Canada of Harlem Children's Zone in the mix, were started by people not departments, states, cities or politicians. Shaun Murphy, who teaches at Prestige Academy, will make a difference too.

*Note to Mike: I fell asleep in the middle of doing something and published another copy of last week's post.

A Beatdown Over Karaoke

About two weeks ago I read about six women who beat another woman over her karaoke performance in a sports bar in Florida* Connecticut.

1. This is an example of why I just don't believe the "study" that Black people have a positive outlook about mental health.
2. Worrying about justice system is not just a black man thing. More and more black women are finding themselves in the system.
3. What the hell were they so angry about? Its not like they knew what she was saying. Maybe they should have paid attention in Spanish class.

Five of the women were arraigned Wednesday and the other on Monday. They were charged with 3rd degree assault and other crimes.

And the song performed is one of my favorite songs to sing ever.

Juanes "A Dios Le Pido"

*posted on YouTube by Sycademic

Fabulous song!

*I've received a lot of heat from a certain blogger who always asks me, "What's the matter with Florida?"

Black People Are Positive About Seeking Mental Health Help And I'm Skeptical

I just can't help but doubt this:

OBJECTIVE: Previous research on mental health disparities shows that persons from racial-ethnic minority groups have less access to mental health care, engage in less treatment, and receive poorer-quality treatment than non-Hispanic whites. Attitudes and beliefs about mental health treatment were examined to determine whether they contribute to these disparities.

METHODS: Data from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R) were analyzed to determine attitudes toward treatment-seeking behavior among people of non-Hispanic white, African-American, and Hispanic or Latino race-ethnicity. Additional sociodemographic variables were examined in relation to attitudes and beliefs toward treatment.

RESULTS: African-American race-ethnicity was a significant independent predictor of greater reported willingness to seek treatment and lesser reported embarrassment if others found out about being in treatment. These findings persisted when analyses adjusted for socioeconomic variables. Hispanic or Latino race-ethnicity also was associated with an increased likelihood of willingness to seek professional help and lesser embarrassment if others found out, but these differences did not persist after adjustment for the effects of socioeconomic variables.

CONCLUSIONS: Contrary to the initial hypothesis, African Americans and Hispanics or Latinos may have more positive attitudes toward mental health treatment seeking than non-Hispanic whites. To improve access to mental health services among racial-ethnic minority groups, it is crucial to better understand a broader array of individual-, provider-, and system-level factors that may create barriers to care.

Source

I tend to believe that we don't acknowledge mental health and as a community think its a "white thing."

Do we have a very narrow view of what mental health? Or maybe I have a broad view of mental health? Do we think most of our behaviors are healthy people making bad decisions? Maybe everyone chooses unsafe sex, bad intimate partners and engage in overall destructive behavior because they want to, not because they are effects of poor mental health?

Good News Tuesday: The Providence Effect

The Providence Effect is a documentary about the Providence St. Mel school located on Chicago's South Side.

Director-producer Rollin Binzer plainly and understandably admires St. Mel's, an institution that for the past 30 years has sent each one of its graduating seniors off to a four-year college. Well do we know that many American schools are doing a rather dreadful job, so it's inspiring to see that, at St. Mel's at least, our children is learning.

Through interviews with administrator Paul Adams III, "The Providence Effect" focuses partly on St. Mel's decades-long struggle toward stability. After Adams's civil rights involvement led to his being blacklisted from teaching in Alabama, he moved to Chicago and set about turning St. Mel's from a foundering parochial school in a gang-ridden community into a competitive K-12 institution.

Under Adams, the school has amassed donors and a sharp faculty, making private education accessible to African American students who might not otherwise have found themselves prepping for college. It's obviously a success story, writ large and public; Ronald Reagan paid two glowing visits to St. Mel's in the 1980s, and Barack Obama once addressed the students during his community organizing days, a tidbit that the documentary (shot in 2007) omits. (Washington Post)

Check out the Web site for information about the school and theater listings around the country. Then make sure to check out the Good News Tuesday posts at The Happy Go Lucky Bachelor, Monie on the Outside, and Electronic Village. And as always check out Tradition of Excellence for good news every day of the week.

Even In Black Blogosphere: If It Bleeds It Leads, The Hypocrisy Of Black Blogs

You just need to be a flea against injustice. Enough committed fleas biting strategically can make even the biggest dog uncomfortable and transform even the biggest nation. ~Marian Wright Edelman

This will be short and sweet, no need to preach.

For the longest time on this blog I've stated ONE of the ways to combat the evil that permeates is to acknowledge and applaud success, hard work and good people (particularly kids). Sometimes I've even used snark, like this, to pass along information other than violence and garbage. I've been angered by the sanctimonious BS of black bloggers who rip mainstream media for its portrayal of black people even though they mimic the same behavior on the blogs where they have full autonomy.

I created and maintain a Web site that chronicles positive stories about African-Americans from all news sources I can find. Guess what, I don't have enough time to publish them all. And that's not including the ones that I miss. Check it out sometime, its called Tradition of Excellence. (And if you find good news please send me an email so I can add it to the site).

I started Good News Tuesday almost a year ago and Mike at Happy Go Lucky Bachelor has been with me from the beginning. Numerous times I've asked, dared, challenged other black bloggers to do the same. Monie from Monie on the Outside pledges to spread good news on Tuesdays and Villager/Wayne at Electronic Village (great blog name!) has already started.

All the whining about the mainstream media's one-sided view of black Americans is disingenuous when we don't take a tiny moment once in a while to appreciate those who live life right. Its your blog and I can't tell you what to publish but stop being a hypocrite.

If they don't lead with what bleeds at least news organizations can claim they will lose money. What's our excuse? Blog hits? Please!

A Benefit Party For A Guy Getting Out Of Prison? People Please

Yep thats what I overheard sitting in the stands of my son's football practice.

I'm Going To Do Single Black Women A Favor. No Need To Thank Me

“Being single isn’t bad. What is bad is giving up hope on finding that someone special.” – Anonymous

I'm taking myself out of the equation. No, I'm not one less woman you have to compete with in regards to male companionship, sorry it isn't that big of a favor. I'm taking my name out of the unmarried black woman equation that sends most of you into a hopeless pit of despair.

Every month it seems like a new study on marriage and black people surface...or someone regurgitates the same old studies on their blogs. According to the 2006 US Census Bureau, 45% of black women had never been married. According to another study 38% of highly educated black women have never married.

While I am in no way minimizing the broken family I am tired of hearing about the nervous Nelly, miserable, pint of ice cream-eating, sitting on the couch every night, never going to marry black woman.

Seems to be they "calculate" this number by simply looking at the number of black women who never married. Now, I'm no statistician but doesn't that seem to be a trifling way of evaluating this issue?

I asked an economist if they calculate this unmarried black woman thing the way the calculate the unemployment numbers. If they don't, they should. Currently the unemployment rate is roughly 9.6%. You actually think its that low? We know better.

The unemployment rate is not ALL the unemployed working age people in America. Its all those who were actively seeking employment in the previous 4 weeks.

I'm not actively seeking marriage. So black women who cry at night over the 45% rest easy. Furthermore, if you remove lesbians, women who don't want to marry in the near future, women who don't want to marry at all, and women who aren't marriage material and have no business trying to get married I bet that number is a bit lower.

If your personal situation is still dire then I suggest you spend time reflecting and not just blaming. A real adult actually ready for a marriage knows its a shared responsibility of the sexes that is causing these "black wedding bell blues."

Good News Tuesday: Jacqueline Fitch

Cadet 1^st Class Jacqueline Fitch of Catonsville, Md., will lead the Corps of Cadets in a parade at the Academy’s Washington Parade Field, in honor of Parent’s Weekend, as the Academy’s first African-American female to hold the prestigious position of regimental commander.

The regimental commander, the highest ranking cadet in the corps, along with the rest of the regimental staff, tends to the administration of companies and activities at the cadet level.

Read more about Jacqueline Fitch and other stories of success at Tradition of Excellence.

To the bloggers, I challenge you to join The Happy Go Lucky Bachelor, Essential Presence and Tradition of Excellence. Post some good news from time to time; you have a forum to spread the news you want to hear.

Black Cyber Intelligentsia Rule 1: If I Can't Talk Down To You Then I Don't Want To Discuss It

I finally figured it out. I am tardy to the party if you will! But I figured out why black blogs only talk about "ghetto" names, poor black class, out of wedlock children, rap, low expectations and bad parenting. These are all important issues that have a negative impact to be sure. And I have no problem with discussing the SOLUTIONS to these issues.

But guess what? Obesity has a negative effect on black people too and I don't see an abundance of conversation about healthy living. Why? Could it be that the black cyber intelligentsia does not want to have a conversation on any topic that they are not able to look down and lecture people?

Could it be that the issue hits too close to home and they will be the student instead of the teacher? They will have to take the criticism and brutal truth instead of dish it out? If you notice, you will see they never talk about issues where they aren't standing on the moral high ground.

Look at the way they circled the wagons with the weight issue surrounding surgeon general nominee Dr. Regina Benjamin. The black cyber intelligentsia, particularly black women, were offended that her weight would be brought up at all. The justifications for why she might not have to lose an extra pound or ten were laughably pathetic. It was the picture. It was the angle. It was her bra. She is the face of the healthy movement in the country at a time when we are talking about healthcare reform. I don't care what they reform, it won't mean a thing if Americans don't reform their own habits. How about some personal responsibility for that? And let's be real if you went to a gym and had to choose a personal trainer between Terrell Owens and William "The Refrigerator" Perry who are you choosing?

Yes, it seems that there may need to be some tweaking of the standards and measurement of who and what is healthy.

In a study presented at the Endocrine Society’s 91st annual meeting in Washington DC in June 2009, researchers found that the conventional methods to measure obesity, BMI and waist circumference, did not accurately measure total fat mass and abdominal fat status in African-Americans. DEXA-measurements of 93 adults, 53 of which were African-American, found that body fat is likely to be lower in blacks than in whites of the same weight and height. (source)

But that doesn't change the fact that there is a serious health problem in the "black community." Diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, joint problems, back problems and a declining basic quality of life.

Thanks to Michael Baisden I know a few more people are going to say its not their fault because its the hormones in the foods. Mmmm hmmmm, okay but that's more eye-rolling than someone blaming "The Man." I don't want to pay for your diabetes anymore than you want to pay for my kid. So shape up!

They claim their behavior and attacks are fueled by their love of black people; it is because they care. No, its fueled by their arrogance. Its not tough love, its down right condescension.

Links:
Obesity: Another Pathology Black People Defend
I Lied And The Black Cyber Intelligentsia Sucks
Black Cyber Intelligentsia Has Become the Mainstream With Its Demands on Poor Black People

Black Women Are Happier Than White Women? Where, On Real Housewives of Atlanta?

“Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.” ~Maya Angelou

A study was released (we all believe in studies right?) and women are losing their happiness. The part that amazed me was that black women are happier than white women. That can't be true. That just cannot be true. Their lives are golden and frankly your lives seem to be miserable. So no, I'm not buying that black women are happier than white women or happy period for that matter.

I mean I've been hearing an awful lot that makes me wonder what the heck black women have to be happy about in this world. And they especially have no business being happier than white women. Men, black and white, love white women- worship them even. Men don't want to make them baby mamas, they want to marry them. How do I know that these things are facts? That white women aren't burdened by the child and marriage issues that black women are? Well, the statistics and numbers you're always spouting to show how screwed up your life is, how bad you have it. Boy the white woman's grass is awfully green and you'd switch places with her in a minute even though you don't know what is going on behind her closed doors.

Its always something you're not happy about even though you personally have a wonderful life (at least that's what you say...on these here Internets). You're always talking about someone else, another person's children, another person's husband, another person's boyfriend, another person's profession, another person's hair, another person's name. You've crossed the line in regards to empathy. Even if your life isn't miserable you've co-opted other people's pain and problems, thus making yourself miserable.

I say you are unhappy because you constantly think about what you don't have, what you're not, who you aren't, what you think you're supposed to be, what you don't look like, what you regret and, of course, you take on too much.

You say you don't want that strong black woman burden but lets be real, you do. You want people patting you on the back telling you how strong you are. Better be careful, they'll pat you right into a grave. You smile and beam as they tell you they couldn't do all the things you pile on yourself. They're right. They can't because they love themselves too much to tie their self-esteem to people-pleasing and never saying no. I used to be the same way. But now? Now, nothing brings me more joy sometimes than to say NO. In my best Mike Singletary voice: Can't do it. (YouTube)

And please don't say its not unhappiness, you're just fighting for black women, black people, black children, the whales. You're so miserable you don't even realize you're down right hateful at times. (Sidenote: There is always a black version of a mainstream movie: Fatal Attraction (Obsessed), Single White Female (Single Black Female), when are we getting our version of Mean Girls?)

Its not advocating. I know plenty of advocates. You sound nothing like them. Many of whom have brought about a lot more change than you. (Lets be honest. Most of you don't do anything beyond commenting on the Internet giving cyber slaps on the back to people who are doing something.)

I still care about the world. I'm informed. I'm aware. I volunteer. I'm just not miserable. Yep, I'm single. Yep, I'm raising a child alone. Yep, I'm broke and my mother just had surgery. But you know what? I'm happy. Sometimes I wake up and I'm so giddy I don't know what to do with myself. And to be honest, unlike when you took that survey, you're not all that damn happy.

I guess we're at the feather mattress stage.

Oh well, this was probably all for nothing because the study said black women lag behind black men in happiness and I know that can't be true.

Interestingly, black women tend to be happier than white females, but African-American women still lag behind black men in terms of happiness. (Philly.com)

What this study proved is that black people, for fear of being seen as weak or latching onto a "white people thing," lie about their happiness and mental state. And when you do that, there is no way you can be happy.

Links:
The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness (pdf)

Oh So Now Everyone Respects McDonald's Workers

Professional athletes love the idea of Twitter and blogs to talk to fans because, lets face it, the job of the sports media is to stand on a pedestal and rip the athletes they dislike because they don't act they way reporters think they should appreciate what they have and instead decide to break rules and laws and get preferential treatment.

And some athletes do more than just talk directly to their real fans. Shaquille O'Neal and Ron Artest to name two, give fans who follow them on Twitter free tickets to games and a chance to hang out with them. Cincinnati Bengals Chad Ochocinco hooks his fans up too.

But the past couple of months athletes proved there will always be a need for PR and media relations specialists. The NFL isn't fond of Twitter; they implemented an official NFL Twitter policy. So when Washington Redskins' rookie Robert Henson took to Twitter to call out fans who booed by calling them dimwits who worked 9-5 at McDonald's people weren't happy. And make no mistake, the Mickey D's comment was meant to be an insult.

That was enough to send people into a rage. People like ESPN's Mike Greenberg who cares about the poor souls at fast food restaurants working hard to provide for their families. Greenberg, whose rant has become amusement and is featured on every ESPN page article referencing Twittergate, didn't have an equal rant for Henson's organization when they seemed to have the same lack of empathy for fans struggling in this economy. The Redskins sued fans who could no longer pay for their season ticket plans.

Henson apologized and then went on to delete his Twitter account. Social media is not for the overly emotional who don't have an editor to save them from themselves.

People talk crap about those who work at fast food restaurants; they are the butt of many jokes. People make fun of their hairstyles, mouths, grasp of the English language and their education. And don't let them have to count your change without the register or mess up your order because you really go to town then. But a high-paid professional athlete slights McDonald's workers and folks want to get offended and come to their rescue. I guarantee you 80% of the people ripping into Henson have talked crap about fast food workers.

Does the fact that others do it make Henson's comments appropriate? No, it makes the people who ripped him hypocrites. In the end, Robert Henson joins Serena Williams and Kanye West in the blown out of proportion files.

I love the comment by commenter IrvJoe on ESPN's site about the situation:

Players making comments like this = Arrogant, spoiled, ignorant athletes. Fans making comments like this = Passionate, Caring about their team. Not that Henson was right but fans/media get a lot of leeway when it comes to insulting athletes. And they can get away with insults, harassing their families, racial slurs, who knows what else all because 'they pay the player's salary'

For a moment I had to think if I came up with some fake name because IrvJoe sounds a little too much like me. Since he ended with player salaries I will too. You pay the players' salaries? I know you like to say that and you may even believe it but you don't. A team pay roll could be cut in half and the ticket prices will be the same. Why? Because the players' salaries don't determine the ticket prices, your purchasing history does. Teams charge what fans will pay - no less - and it doesn't matter if the players make $60,000 a year.

Other links:
Fitzgerald has a Twitter problems
Charger fined for tweeting...about team's food
Emotional tweets aside, Packers linebacker Barnett no Twitter quitter

What Is It That I Can't Teach My Son?

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot

One of the hardest things for some people to do is take criticism, even when they are smart enough to know they don't know everything. I'm in the group but I get better as time goes on. One of the most sensitive things for me is to listen to the constant cry of my son's pending doom because he's being raised by me - a single mother. They are usually married folks or childless folks (and they all think they are better than single mothers).

No, I am not broken by their constant castigating of my bringing a child into this world without a father. The more they spin their broken record the more you notice that about 75% of it sounds like ignorance. They are the types that would see Raising Him Alone as an evil site with a subversive message encouraging women to have children out of wedlock. I just don't have time for the drama. And let's be honest, most of their broad criticism is another way the black cyber intelligentsia lays all the problems involving black people on everyone but themselves. Because if no one had children out of wedlock and behaved like them everything would be fine. In their know-it-all minds anyway.

I found that site thanks to Max Reddick over at Soul Brother v.2 which seems to be a place for honest discussion without antagonism and drama all rolled up into one. He wrote a post a week ago titled, "Can a Woman Raise a Man?" Most times such a title would lead me to ignore because of the inevitable drama but I read the post and the comments, which is a testament to Max's carefully thought out and non-chastising words.

In the comments section, which I entered late as usual, I asked what is it that I can't teach my son? I didn't ask in a condescending manner. I didn't ask in a defensive one. It was with true sincerity. Why do I ask? Because I'm sure there are things that I overlook just as I surely would if I was raising a daughter. We're not perfect whether we're raising kids alone, with a spouse and even extended support groups.

I, like Max, have a propensity to come down hard on my son. So much so that my mother feels the need to remind me that "he's not in the Army."

I was in the Army where the coddling is minimal. Coupled with a childhood with little affection and you have a woman that is harder than even she wants to be at times. (Which also manifests itself in my relationships but that's another subject). So I admit I can be very tough on my son. (Sometimes I fear he'll gravitate towards a mean woman just like his mom. That's scary.)

We wrestle on the floor. I taught him his love of sports. I'm nursing a sore shoulder because I tossed batting practice to him Saturday at the baseball field. I take him to football practice and taught him how to throw a spiral. I took him to karate lessons then handed him over to my mom in the 7-11 parking lot across the street from my college campus as I went to class. None of this seems like "dad work" that I am burdened with because I love sports.

I told him about masturbation when he heard the word on the radio. I answered when he asked me how will he know the right kind of woman when its time for him to get married. We've talked about love and not having children before career and marriage. I tell him how I think a woman/ girl should be treated and he breaks his neck to open doors for me.

We constantly talk about the importance of integrity and owning one's mistakes, the value of a man's word, and making himself (and his family) proud.

I don't give this laundry list to say, "Look how great a mom I am." Like I said I'm not perfect and the laundry list of mistakes is equal if not longer. I do it just to give you an idea of what I am doing so maybe you can spot what I'm not.

While that's not everything I've talked with him about nor is it everything I plan on talking to him about I'd rather just sit back and listen as men (and women feel free to join) tell me what I should teach my son.

Other posts:
Stability in the home just as important as two parents
Black cyber intelligentsia has become the main stream with its demands on poor black people
I lied and the black cyber intelligentsia sucks
I am not dragging you down

Good News Tuesday: CSM Teresa King Is Army's Top Drill Sergeant

“The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on. The genius of a good leader is to leave behind him a situation which common sense, without the grace of genius, can deal with successfully.” -Walter Lippmann

As an Army veteran this one is close to my heart. Drill sergeants, as Command Sgt. Maj. Teresa King says, are in the business of turning civilians into soldiers. In the military, there is not a more important job. Its a position of honor, prestige and great responsibility. And recently the Army entrusted King to lead the people who train the best.

Read the story here. Watch an AP video of the story, including short interviews here. Listen to the New York Times' audio of the story.

To the bloggers, I dare you to join The Happy Go Lucky Bachelor and Essential Presence and post some good news from time to time.

Pepsi To Target Black Moms

To ignore white ethnicity is to redouble its hegemony by naturalizing it. Without specifically addressing white ethnicity there can be no critical evaluation of the construction of the other. -Coco Fusco

Pepsi has a new advertising campaign targeting African American moms. Never mind that soda/pop/cola (whatever you want to call it) isn't healthy.

And why does nearly every promotional campaign have to be wrapped around some inspirational message? Now that everyone spends all their time talking about how horrible it is to be black, including allegedly proud blacks, corporations are telling you how to do better and love ourselves with their own Web sites like Pepsi we inspire.

Don't get me wrong companies. I don't want you to ignore us. I want you to include us. And these special campaigns always seem to reinforce that we are the "other". How about you just put some black people doing normal stuff in your ads and commercials? How about your Human Resources department practice equal hiring? That is what I want corporations to do. I'm all about corporate responsibility and getting publicity through charitable projects. So, I'm not mad at you, but this just doesn't make me as excited as what you were hoping.

But thats just me. I tend to be a bit contrarian. These campaigns just remind me of the special all Black Italian Vogue issue. Where did that collectible get us?

Am I being completely unfair to Pepsi and other companies?

The Hofstra Rape That Wasn't And A Movement Going Down An Eerily Familiar Path

I know some women really do hate other women. But I know women like me are wrongly defined in the same way because we are critical of women, including the educated women who say one thing but when no one is watching do another. That's just me. I'm tougher on black than white, women than men, and my kid than someone else's kid. Doesn't mean I don't see what the other side is doing and I'm not tough on them too. Its just easier for me to be more pissed at what my own is doing.

So here goes my post that will be seen as woman hating and insensitive.

A Hofstra student reported she was raped by five men then later recanted. And according to reports it seemed she lied but still some people totally disregard that. Are we really going to say, "Okay fine, but back to those horrible men?" like it isn't a big deal that she may have lied? I'm not piling on the young lady but lying about rape has serious repercussions. And are we willing to say such accusations should go unaddressed?

Is there always some sympathetic, sociological justification for the actions of a woman in this man's world? Because now we're going to wonder about her mental health issues and what will happen to her now. Those are valid concerns and the few people who read this blog know I value the need for black people to respect mental health. Poor mental health affects everything from career, education, motivation, self-worth and even hygiene. Hard to "do better" when your mind ain't right.

But the very ones who speak on this will not allow for the mental health discussion to arise at all when discussing men. Does anyone truly believe some of these black males don't have some serious mental health issues? Does the broken, lost cause label apply to women as well? And I love how people are saying, "Well they put themselves in that situation." Good luck saying that about a woman.

I just like to point out the inconsistencies. Sometimes I'm not black and white on my feelings either. Sometimes to be contradictory isn't hypocritical, its simply human. I have a brain but I have legs too and I like for a man to notice. And lets face it, some people are simply more deserving of empathy than others.

When the news came that she may have lied the first thing I asked was, "Will she be kicked out of school?" Many hoighty-toighty institutions of higher learning either have an honor code or, like Hofstra, are marinating on the idea of establishing one. Surely this would fall under that or a code of conduct. A person who lies about a serious violent crime on campus not only injures the accused, but the university and its residents (and in this case that includes all the women on the campus).

And the fact that there have been males who have not been punished for their bad acts on campus doesn't mean a woman should get a pass. Having said that, because I know how people think they know your heart and what you completely feel about a subject from a few hundred words on a blog, this is where I state I truly believe this young lady should be allowed to finish school and get whatever help she needs.

Women will say she's messed up in a sad, mental health way and the men are messed up in a depraved way. Men will say she's some liar and the boys were just being boys taking what was offered. But to be clear, everyone in that bathroom is messed up and in need of serious help either based on events before or after that night at Hofstra. And frankly I don't need a public come to Jesus moment from the boys, nor do I need tears but it would behoove them to sit down somewhere in a quiet reflection of how close they came to losing their lives. Keep it up boys and you will be in jail. What went down in that bathroom, one way or the other, was not normal or even appropriate. And 22 hours isn't enough time to think because they don't get it; in many ways they smeared their own names. And you certainly aren't heroes douchebags.

No one knows what happened. Whether she agreed to one thing and it went horribly wrong or she agreed to everything that happened, they are two totally different things. And though the latter would in no way justify their actions, her willingness to engage in this act doesn't fall on the shoulders of those boys. They are responsible for their willingness to engage.

Like I've said before on this blog, this black women movement is going in the same direction as the civil rights movement. Exactly the same, even if folks cant see it. Maybe there is a little distinction. The civil rights crew will defend all black men, all the time and make them a sympathetic figure. At least female celebrities, Debra Lee and poor black women are sacrificed.

Photojournalist Chip Litherland Covers The Funeral Of Jazmine Thompson

Jazmine Thompson was a 17-year old cheerleader who was murdered when while riding in the car with her friends. Take a look at Mr. Litherland's photos and words. Touching.

His three photo albums of Jazmine's memory and the grief her murderer caused: deja vu - The final cheer -Jazmine's Goodbye

You Have To Work The System In Order To Work The System

I know people want to cry Mary McCurnin and Ron Bednar a river; the loving couple will divorce in order to survive in this cold, harsh world. I just don't have any tears. I'm not hating on them, its just nothing new.

For Mary McCurnin and husband Ron Bednar, money trouble has followed health trouble. In 2003, the couple declared bankruptcy after their insurance covered only 10 percent of treatment costs for her breast cancer and his intestinal bleeding. In 2004, McCurnin's breast cancer returned, and Bednar underwent open heart surgery.

Now, after repeatedly refinancing their house to pay medical bills and living expenses, they're broke. To improve their chances of growing old together, they've filed for divorce.

"It occurred to me that I could get my first husband's Social Security," said McCurnin. Her first husband, to whom she'd been married 20 years, died in 1989. When she turns 60 in November, McCurnin said she will be eligible for $1,200 in monthly survivor's benefits from the previous marriage. As the Social Security Administration told her, she can't have the survivor benefit if she's married to someone else. (Huffington Post)

But how many people will see them the way America sees the single mother on welfare, the illegal immigrants and poor people who are only concerned about breaking the rules and getting over.

I know, Mary and Ron are different. They worked all their lives, they did everything right, they've put into the system. We see things how we want to see them.

No matter your viewpoint one thing is for certain - they are working the system to their benefit. And as I told an upper middle class white associate of mine, that is exactly what all middle and upper class people do, work the system to their advantage, and they never feel bad about it.

See, when this couple gets divorced they are doing what they have to do and its a shame that a wonderful marriage has to end because of our inept government that doesn't care about them. When middle and upper class South Floridians have the chance to be reimbursed with tax dollars for generators during the 2004 hurricanes they don't blink.

In the first seven weeks after Hurricane Wilma, $95 million in federal disaster aid went to buy Floridians generators and cleanup items, more than the government spent to fix homes damaged by the October storm.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency paid 117,000 residents under a controversial policy that reimburses anyone, regardless of income, for generators, chain saws, wet/dry vacuums, air purifiers and dehumidifiers, a South Florida Sun-Sentinel investigation has found.In Broward County, the reimbursements cost $41 million, and in Palm Beach County, $19 million -- exceeding the amount FEMA spent on home repairs.

In a ZIP code that includes parts of affluent Weston and Southwest Ranches, 33332, taxpayers paid for generators or chain saws for one in six households.

The ZIP code 33428, home to the Boca Woods Country Club, received the most in Palm Beach County, $1.1 million.

The payments renewed calls from politicians to change the policy.

"The notion that we buy generators is absolutely crazy -- for anyone," said U.S. Rep. Mark Foley, R-Jupiter. "I just think it's a huge waste of money." (Sun-Sentinel)

When I told my associate about this program she said, "Well if its available and its not against the law I'd take advantage of it too." She also has this belief that if you're poor and on welfare you're sitting on your ass watching TV (and she doesn't want to pay for your health care through a public option while you watch Jerry Springer).

I reminded her that welfare, what she had been railing on two minutes earlier, is not against the law either.

People narrowly define behavior and benefits they consider bad to ensure they exclude their similar actions. See, anything that helps the poor and minorities is welfare and anything that helps rich people is simply good policy.

Working the system is as American as apple pie. There isn't a hustle the poor does that wasn't perfected by the rich first. They only hate the welfare and benefits they can't get.

Okay So President Carter Calls Racism...So What?

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President Jimmy Carter said what many black people have said for a long time. It is somehow more profound than anything any black person has said thus far. No it is not. It simply reminds me of the second rule of Derrick Bell's Rules of Racial Standing, which every black person should know and live by. President Obama tried to speak on race with Dr. Gates and the media didn't want to listen because obviously Barack Obama can't be trusted regarding race; hits too close to home and all so he's too biased. Now they are all ears because Jimmy Carter speaks on it.

SECOND RULE
Not only are blacks' complaints discounted, but black victims of racism are less effective witnesses than are whites, who are members of the oppressor class. This phenomenon reflects a widespread assumption that blacks, unlike whites, cannot be objective on racial issues and will favor their own no matter what. This deep seated belief fuels a continuing effort - despite all manner of Supreme Court decisions intended to curb the practice - to keep black people off juries in cases involving race. Black judges hearing racial cases are eyed suspiciously and sometimes asked to recuse themselves in favor of a white judge - without those making the request even being aware of the paradox in their motions.

Here are the five rules.

Meanwhile I don't know why anyone bothers to defend this White House or the president when they consistently state racism doesn't exist. Yes, I understand its strategic. You don't want to piss off the easily offended and commit political suicide.

But I also understand truth is truth and pretending racism doesn't exist is enabling racists. And its is just as harmful to the souls of those who must deal with it. I imagine what my son would feel like if someone punched him in the gut and I said it wasn't malicious.

You Black Cyber Intelligentsia Think You Have It Bad

You guys think you heard the same old, and in your opinions, inaccurate picture of being "Black in America"? Wake me when something new is discussed "about our children." Parents, responsibility, parental responsibility, rap, sagging pants, out of wedlock...

What else am I missing?

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